(je)FFrey

Clearly still WAY in development.

Quoted from here.

Major advancements in technology like this one are what makes the future worth looking forward to. Researchers at the Fraunhofer Institute in Germany have invented an artificial cornea that may well be the key to restoring sight for our people with damaged corneas.

“Our artificial corneas are based on a commercially available polymer which absorbs no water and allows no cells to grow on it,” says IAP project manager Dr. Joachim Storsberg. “Once our partner Dr. Schmidt Intraokularlinsen GmbH has suitably shaped the polymers, we selectively coat the implants: We lay masks on them and apply a special protein to the edge of the cornea, which the cells of the natural cornea can latch onto. In this way, the cornea implant can firmly connect with the natural part of the cornea, while the center remains free of cells and therefore clear.” What is special about this protein is that it can survive the later thermal sterilization of the artificial cornea without being damaged, as it does not have the three-dimensional structure typical of large proteins. Such a structure would be destroyed during the sterilization process, leading to changes in the material’s properties. The optical front part of the implant is coated with a hydrophilic polymer, so that it is constantly moistened with tear fluid.

Researchers in Dr. Karin Kobuch’s working group at Regensburg University Hospital have already tested these corneas in the laboratory and found that their cells graft very well at the edge and cease growing where the coating stops. The optical center of the implant thus remains clear. The first implants have already been tested in rabbits’ eyes - with promising results. If further tests are successful, the technology will be tried on humans in 2008.”

I just flipped through some channels right now and - oh my God - this show I’m watching is quite honestly fantastic in the weirdest way possible. The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman. It’s pretty much like the absolute last thing I would ever normally watch. It’s actually almost terrible, but somehow is actually cracking me up in a quiet way. I’d put it on the same Tier of Sarcasm and overall-human-criticism as Strangers with Candy (which, sidenote, I’m not really a fan of). Give it a watch. I’ve still yet to decide completely, though. As I speak it’s either slowly getting worse in a really bad way or funnier in a really creepy, most awesome way.

I’ll update you at some point if I ever do decide completely. Decide here — this isn’t the clip but all I found in the two seconds I tried.

Okay yeah it’s pretty hilarious! “He just shot off when I asked ‘Do you like cream soda’? The topics they’ve chosen here are absurd. A guy that cums without being touched whatsoever and some creepy love relationship between some writer chic and a B-horror movie special effects sleaze.

It’s on IFC if you want to know. The dude that cums too fast is a fantastic character.

(Can’t wait for the new season of Whitest Kids You Know) - February 10th @ 11:00!

As of late, I’ve turned to using the Notepad most of us find in the “Tools” section of our phones. First of all, I am amazed at how I got by without this thing and even more amazed that I never thought to use the damn thing. It saves me from so many terrible fits of regret over how moronic I am that I can’t even remember something unless it’s 5 words or less, and even then I don’t remember it for longer than 5 seconds at most.

Since this adoption, I’ve accumulated quite a few of the ridiculous thoughts, hilarious lines, and even the occasional profound declarations uttered by my ‘merican group of friends and I. I shouldn’t be the only one that gets these nice little refreshers to remind us of the absurdity so here are some of my faves to date, in order of appearance… (btw, my guess is that you probably had to actually be there to think any of this is funny. Otherwise, it’ll all just seem a bit.. weird.)

66. Pschaagwne. (the new way Sean should spell his name as stated by a crew of men)

65. Blonde as blonde hair, blue as blue eyes, pale as pale skin… (Cory describing his perfect woman)

58. “Oh man, did you hear the rack on her?!” (Bats checking out women using sonar, of course)

55. Vajournal (enough said)

54. Short idea from Nate Daddy at Smokin’ Joe’s: Nate kills himself because he has a ghost that won’t stop bothering him. He becomes a ghost immediately after killing himself, walks into the room, taps the ghost on the shoulder and whoops his ghost ass.

53. “I’m on the verge of falling asleep or knocking somebody out. That’s what sparks does to me.” (Who said this?! Cory? Siobhan? That much I don’t know… –UPDATE– CP has since informed me that this was him.)

52. “I like unhealthy skinny girls, but only if her hair is good. (CP)

51. “And it’s gonna be like that fresh hate I had when I was 4. (Nate regarding despite hating himself so much, he still would not take the opportunity to dress up like something else on Halloween because it was so stupid)

45. Agreeable Double Happiness Presentation Hour (great show)

41. The Drake

40. Ditka, son! (No idea who was here for that one. CP..ND..no idea. All I remember was that “but Ditka doesn’t have to pay shipping, so it evens out”)

39. Not that I’m gay, but if a man like that is available… I might think about it. (Day after. China buffet. Brad describing that he might try to date me if I were available. Very nice.)

37. ‘Nother Tiger Dies, Freak Rock Accident (headline about ongoing tiger assisted-suicides)

36. I went to Iraq and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a bill for $3000.

35. “Ah, even more evidence that Jeff is part black. Aside from his big lips and selected mode of speech, he likes Sade.” (Thanks Jay)

34. Infinite Love for the Finite Beauty (Nate, Sean, and I’s book idea. I’d tell you the details, but it would spool your first read when it gets published)

33. Mekromanium

31. Listening to The Wallflowers is like eating a potato straight. No butter. No salt. It’s not bad… but you wouldn’t choose to have to do it. (Profound, Cory)

27. “I brought the steam cleaner. Do we have any dirty steam.” (Just one of the many confusing and slightly homo things that I wake up to most weekends, courtesy of the Big Guy. Love him.)

15. Is the problem that when I drink two bottles of wine I’m not drunk? Or is the problem that I think I’m not drunk after drinking two bottles of wine?

14. “You’re a good man to ride the river with.” (Cash to Petty on his 50th birthday. Thanks Petty documentary.)

13. “All good things in life are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.” (Josh. China Buffet. Speaking on the subject of weight gain and partying.)

12. “I like a mint that I can hunt a woolly mammoth with.” (Mike suggesting to me to purchase Spearmint over Peppermint gum)

11. Bill Gates Buys Sports. (the headline reads itself)

8. We pass the time of day to forget that time passes.

7. Today could be yesterday’s tomorrow.

6. Boy named Sioux.

5. Multiple masseuse’s would be “masseu”

2. All things begin and end in eternity.

1. Today could just be tomorrow’s yesterday.

Give it time, I’m sure more is on the way. And for this, and maybe only this, I am happy.

“calling yourself a poet is like saying you ride hot air balloons, living in a dream world my friend. you’re not a poet until your dead, before that you’re just unemployed.” - raymi